First date? Stay safe and “Meet The Parents”

I’m not usually an optimist, but in this one regard I am: in hoping there are Men’s Rights Advocates (MRA’s) out there that are still ‘open’ to some (yet-to-be-invented?) ‘safe’ form of dating. I know, countless individuals have just stopped reading – or are laughing their heads off believing this is article is a hoax. But stick with me, would you? A recent USA Today movie review of the new Woody Allen film, “Midnight in Paris” (http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2011-05-19-midnight-in-paris_n.htm ) caused me to ponder movie-relationships as compared to those in Life. So here are some thoughts on why for MRA’s especially the old-fashioned “meet the parents” ritual might be a very good cultural zombie to resurrect.

Surprise, surprise, once again Hollywood attempts to strike liberal-gold, this time at ‘midnight’, by bashing that same-old same-old nemesis of theirs, ‘Conservatism’. Hell, this piece-de-celluloid of W.A.’s sounds like it’s gonna be a triple-pronged pitchfork aimed straight at heartland-types. In it he forks not only the Tea Party (shocker), but (I’m sure he wanted to use ‘uber’ here) ultra-conservative parenting, and the ‘nagging’ female-spawn that kind of worldview produces.

But before we get to the resurrecting of zombies, consider the big Why. Why would this multi-billion-dollar industry called Hollywood – which by the by is locked down by uber-‘anti-conservatives’ – actually feel the need time-and-again to beat the supposed dead horse of Conservatism? I mean if it’s so obviously The Wrong Way, or say, if Evolution was all it cracked up to be and was on the ball, why hasn’t the big C just gone belly-up like the dinosaurs?

I think the answer is simple (three-prongs again): 1) they’re mighty scared of principled people, hence make ‘Conservatives’ the bogey-ist of bogey men; 2) the way such folks are portrayed by ‘Hollywood’ reflects these execs’ beliefs to-their-core (i.e. Hollywood in this regard is actually showing ‘principled’ action in its own insular way); and 3) it makes them feel real good doing it. And then watching it and then watching the bucks flow in from the flyover-country chumps to whom they’re applying their pretty celluloid-pummelings.

I ask you: when was the last time you saw a hot-on-the-outside, yet lying, conniving, manipulative, and vindictive-on-the-inside ‘female-lead’ in a flick (chick-flicks especially come to mind like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”; “The Switch”; etc.) get linked to the Culture of uber-AntiConservatism or uber-unreligiousness. Or to those kind of parents or parenting?

Um-m-m…never? But now, finally, to the zombies.

Just as (gasp) Marriage-Before-Babies served (and in my opinion still serves) a purpose, so too did (and could, again) Meeting-Her-Parents Before…well, before getting (very) ‘Serious’. And it’s all because of an old adage that was right on the money way-back-when and I contend still is today. So for better or worse, let’s picture in our minds, shall we, The Evening (that could turn out to be the best investment of ‘dating time’ you’ve ever made)…

When The Mother comes to the door a string of words tumbles into your mind’s eye even though you may barely be able to see past the woman with your actual ones (because of her bulk): “That’s How She’s Gonna Look in 20 Years.” Later, during dinner you’ll “See How She’s Gonna Treat Her Husband” and then “Hear How She Expects Him to Respond”.

Of course it’s a two-way street but you get the idea. Maybe this could be the new ‘safe’ way of ‘first dating’. Maybe all first dates should somehow involve The Parents: Live, in an apartment, home or restaurant; or Virtually, over ‘Skype’ or through some still yet to be contrived on-line format because-they-live-out-of-town.

Then again maybe I’m just desperately hoping all you MRA’s don’t simply give up on us women…

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